Monday, 17 December 2012

Re: [WardFive] Re: [ward5] 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America (Huffington Post)

Mr. Peloquin,
 
1st.  Allow me to say that I can't imaging how those parents or even the immediate community and all the "directly" affected
 folks feel.  There is nothing, absolutely nothing even the president can say to make this any easier.
 
What I would like others to also focus on is that this issue happens on almost a daily basis in some of our neighborhoods.  Our GROWN Kids are just Killing each other.  This young man's mental illness is shared by many -- our kids are just not "medically" identified.  I remember someone a year ago asking "what's wrong with these kids"?  
 
I will tell folks again, the fact that folks spend all this Money (billions) on a Trolleys and we have so much more to be done.  we want to fund everything "green" but don't understand what it will take to return all the "GREEN" that has been stolen from so many people's lives.   The simple fact that schools over in Ward 3 was repaired prior to the schools which needed them the most in other parts of the City and our kids have to be at risk to travel at so early an age.   
 
All this screwy politics that folks downtown at the Wilson building are involved in, I am surprised that some parents haven't flipped out on them.    
The Truly Sad part is that those parents will not be able to see their children ever again.  Here in some parts of this city and many other communities (Black and White), we have parents who have to watch their children suffer from lack of so many things knowing that they are eventually headed to Jail -- and most often, these parents themselves don't know any better themselves, simply lazy or just are too busy trying to keep a roof over their heads.  What ever the reason, we all are the ones who stand to suffer or who will end up paying in the long run.
 
The day that something like that happens right here in this city by a young adult who has been deprived, I hope folks aren't going to start asking "why" and "howcome".   We are playing Russian Roulette.  They are planning prison beds on 3rd and 4th grade tests scores and Blacks are a higher per capita of the population in jail. 
 
ONCE AGAIN, on the way to jail, many crimes are committed by the same person -- as folks don't usually get caught when comitting their first crime and it usually gets more and more violent and it most likely starts with lack of education and lots of Idle time.  Like the Bible says "an idle mind is the devil's workshop".
 
Like I have said many times before, I have made many mistakes -- so I am not holding myself on a pedastal.  However, whoever is reading, I hope you are paying attention on the focus of what is needed before we continue with all these wants that the Wilson Building is focused on.  They are listening to someone -- and it ain't the few who are "protesting". 
 
Let's focus on our Kids -- both the Mentally Ill at Birth and the ones that is being converted due to lack of so much -- especially Prioritizing. 
 
My Prayers are with those parents in Conn. as well as to be blessed with the support to solve as much as possible before something like this or on an individual basis happens again.
 
Rob Ramson.
 
 
 
 
 
On Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 1:18 PM, Jerome J. Peloquin <jeromepeloquin@fastmail.fm> wrote:
One cannot make meaning from the meaningless brutal acts of a mad person.  There is, and can be no rationalization of mass killing of those unknown to you ... the truth is not relevant!  Their intention is not relevant!   Why?  Because they are MAD and there is no reaoning with madness!
 
AND ... in most cases one cannot legislate, or even protect against that sort of violence.   Do we turn all schools into fortresses, with airport like metal detectors and armed guards in each classroom.  That's what it would take!
 
Yes, we can make guns (especially semi automatic assault weapons) Illegal and I would support that.  But ... you will NOT get that law because the makers of these weapons have more money  and they will pay lobbyists, who will pay congressmen to either vote against such a law or water it down with exceptions so as to be meaningless itself.
 
There is no acceptable practical solution to these mass murders.  in this case I suspect abuse by the parent as one contributing factor .. she isolated both of them allowing on one into the house.  He was a high achiever that is another symptom when added to the first. but it is pure conjecture on my part.
 
These killings are tragedies and beyond comprehension or rationality ... they can't be stopped and we cannot prevent them.   It is a condition of modern life.
 
Jerry in Frustration
 
----- Original message -----
From: Jocelyn Coleman <jclyncl@gmail.com>
Subject: Re: [WardFive] Re: [ward5] 'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America (Huffington Post)
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2012 12:23:42 -0500
 
Good Afternoon All
 
I think that it is important that we have an open conversation and talk about strategies which hopefully assist parents, however I feel that we should not use the killers name as it should not be important. He should not get anymore publicity. The media is already giving him too much publicity as it is...
 
Just my feelings.
 
J. Coleman 
 
On Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 10:46 AM, Rob <indianrob@gmail.com> wrote:

Good Morning Ward Five,

And even after just 1 day like this, a parent still has to perform his/her work realted / other duties.  Almost impossible especially when there are siblings.

Furthermore, how do we do better to prevent other kids without "mental illness" from becoming mentally ill due to the lack of overall opportunity;yet compared to kids who have?

They will also be picking up guns, knives, kicking, biting, etc. A moment to think about how every decision/law/speed camera for tickets/vs safety, every bus coming into Ivy City, every tactic that is supposed to make us so much more "green" vs just an array of equal/beautiful colors.

I (and I am sure so many of us) feel for the pain of all the parents/communities who have to endure the "connecticuts" in 3D.  We should all move forward in understanding that when others call out for help with our schools/kids, we should understand the priorities that needs to be -- starting with born with Mental Illness and the mental illness that is being created on a daily basis.

Rob Ramson

On Dec 17, 2012 10:15 AM, "KPW" <WKPW3@aol.com> wrote:
 

 

Still, let's first ban the assault weapons.
 
 
Excerpt from article
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am James Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.
 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/16/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother-mental-illness-conversation_n_2311009.html?ncid=wsc-huffpost-cards-headline

'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America

Posted: 12/16/2012 9:15 am EST  |  Updated: 12/16/2012 2:34 pm EST
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Lizalongnotforreuse
GET PARENTS ALERTS:
Friday's horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.
While every family's story of mental illness is different, and we may never know the whole of the Lanza's story, tales like this one need to be heard -- and families who live them deserve our help.
Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.
"I can wear these pants," he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.
"They are navy blue," I told him. "Your school's dress code says black or khaki pants only."
"They told me I could wear these," he insisted. "You're a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!"
"You can't wear whatever pants you want to," I said, my tone affable, reasonable. "And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You're grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school."
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.
A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.
That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn't have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.
We still don't know what's wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He's been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.
At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he's in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He's in a good mood most of the time. But when he's not, watch out. And it's impossible to predict what will set him off.
Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district's most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can't function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.
The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, "Look, Mom, I'm really sorry. Can I have video games back today?"
"No way," I told him. "You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly."
His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. "Then I'm going to kill myself," he said. "I'm going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself."
That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
"Where are you taking me?" he said, suddenly worried. "Where are we going?"
"You know where we are going," I replied.
"No! You can't do that to me! You're sending me to hell! You're sending me straight to hell!"
I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. "Call the police," I said. "Hurry."
Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn't escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I'm still stronger than he is, but I won't be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork -- "Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…"
At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You'll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.
For days, my son insisted that I was lying -- that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, "I hate you. And I'm going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here."
By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I've heard those promises for years. I don't believe them anymore.
On the intake form, under the question, "What are your expectations for treatment?" I wrote, "I need help."
And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.
I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza's mother. I am Dylan Klebold's and Eric Harris's mother. I am James Holmes's mother. I am Jared Loughner's mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho's mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it's easy to talk about guns. But it's time to talk about mental illness.
According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.
When I asked my son's social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. "If he's back in the system, they'll create a paper trail," he said. "That's the only way you're ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you've got charges."
I don't believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael's sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn't deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise -- in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.
With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill -- Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation's largest treatment centers in 2011.
No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, "Something must be done."
I agree that something must be done. It's time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That's the only way our nation can ever truly heal.
God help me. God help Michael. God help us all.
(Originally published at The Anarchist Soccer Mom.)
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